That Kind of Guy

Last night we danced at a party
My friends were impressed once again
You told me it was the best party
You'd ever attended, but then

Last night you told me you loved me
I told you you'd too much to drink
Again then you told me you loved me
About which I started to think

You could be the cat's meow
You could be the bee's knees, but I fear
None of that matters now
I'm sorry if I've not been clear

I never loved you
I couldn't have loved you
I've never been that kind of guy
True I enjoyed you, but
You I employed, you
Were caught by my wandering eye
Pack all your things up
If this breakup brings up 
Too much, and you can't help but cry
Understand
I never loved you
I couldn't have loved you
I've never been that kind of guy

I never loved you
I couldn't have loved you
I've never been that kind of guy
My friend, hugs and kisses,
The end is what this is
Give somebody sweeter a try
This is goodbye, say
Your piece 'cause if I say
I love you, it would be a lie
Honestly,
I never loved you
I couldn't have loved you
I've never been that kind of guy

93 
(from 'Jason & Ben')

It's a freezing cold day in the park 
And I'm sitting here writing a song
About the 93 ways that you killed me 
About the 93 ways you were wrong

And so what if right now I'm in pieces 
At least I'm totally thinking of you  
After 93 days you were restless
So after 93 days you were through 

You say you needed more attention
But I don't know love—it never happened to me
Time didn't exist until you threw the wrench in
You were so number one; now it's all just 93

It's a teeth-numbing day in the park  
Yet I'm already on the third verse  
Now just 93 words for the ages  
Now just 93 words for the worse  

I don't blame you for being impatient  
But you fled before I had my say  
Watch as 93 birds sit and mock me
Watch as 93 birds fly away 

I could have hidden my intention
But I had no good ideas—this was all new to me
You rushed to judge, and may I mention  
You were so number one; now it's all just 93

I'll stay here shaking for the rest of the week
And whine about how dreams don't come true
And you'll walk by my shivering body  
And whine about it ruining the view
Yeah, that's you

It's a bitter-ass day in the park  
But there's nowhere else I can go
You know 93 people who'll save you  
I know 93 people who blow   

It's OK that you weren't where I was
But I love you; see, I couldn't lie
There are 93 ways that you killed me 
If only there were 93 ways I could die

Every Other Day 
(from 'Broads on Boards')

Every other day
I give you a try
Every other day
You just pass me by
You don't look at me
You don't tell me why
I'm here
But you never see
My dear
What you're doing to me
How you're tearing me up
How you're wearing me down

Every other day
I think it could start
Every other day
You quicken my heart
But you don't hear a thing
And you break it apart
I'm here
But we never begin
My dear
Can't you see how it's been
How it's tearing me down
How it's doing me in

In the in-between days
I try to recover
I get out of bed
I float. Well, I hover
I tell myself someday 
You could be my lover
If you'd notice how good I can be

Every other day
I stand on the brink
Every other day
You drive me to drink
You seem not to know
That I whither and shrink
I'm here
I'm not going away
My dear
Why the delay
This is all that I think
This is all that I know
This is all that I do
This is all that I say
Every other day

An Invitation

You arrived on our shores
After much navigation
You put down your oars
We had much admiration
To avoid starting wars
We began conversation
What's ours is yours
And thus, an invitation:

"Dear sirs and madams,
Please join us for dinner at 4 o'clock in the evening.
Formal wear requested.
Much thanks, 
The elders of the Wampanoag tribe."

The thing is…

We invited you to dinner
You accepted, which was grand
We invited you to dinner
And we assumed you'd understand
That when we invited you to dinner
It was only for that day
Yet, after pies
And our goodbyes
You didn't go away

True,
We invited you to dinner
As anybody would
We welcomed you with dinner
But we thought it understood
That with such an invitation
The intentions were quite clear
You'd have some food
And after that, you'd
Go, but you're still here.

Yes, 
We served you fish
You had nothing but praise
You loved our corn
Much thanks! (It was maize.)
In lieu of lambs and hams
We served venison and yams
Which up you ate with great delight
You have finished all the turkey
We can't anymore be perky
We'll say it once again: Good night!

No?
So about this little dinner
What's a dinner? Just a meal
To appreciate some company
In an inferential deal
Meaning, at the end of dinner
(And this has always been the same)
You thank the host
Twice, at most
And return from whence you came

Really,
'Twas a lovely, lovely dinner
And though good was our intent
Your party seems eternal
And we're really pretty spent
Surely someone else has dinner
Why not grace them with your mirth
There are other locations
We'll make reservations (ugh)
For anywhere else on Earth

Sure,
You told us stories
We had some chuckles
We adored your darling
Hats and buckles
Exquisite were your leathers
And we're pleased you liked our feathers
It would please us more if you would hear our plight
It was wonderful to cater
Now it's quite a few years later
Do you understand the meaning of good night?!

Jesus Christ
It was dinner, only dinner
Reassume the role of rover
You could have taken doggie bags
Instead, you've taken over
For god's sake, there's no more dinner
Do not purge your urge to roam
You've become a chore
There's the door
Now would you all please go the fuck home!